Look, old man, Masher is outside honking his bloody horn and he is taking us down to the White Hart to celebrate Taffy's kill last night. I can't bloody well type up my AAR as I am shaking like a leaf and I can't get it all down on this tiny bloody form. Could you be a dear and type it up for me? Thanks a bundle. I owe you a pint of mild and bitter. I hope you can read my bloody writing!
Come on Nelly! You don't need to put on any make up with an arse like that!
(Sound of a slightly overloaded Austin driving off station down to the White Hart.)
AAR by Flt Lt A. Warren, 314 Sqdn. Target: Heavy Industry at Frankfurt. 27/28 November 1943
After a bit of a sticky take off from base (Sorry, Control Tower!) we eventually formed up with some other orphan Lancs who we supposed were also on the same raid. Enemy coast sighted and it was fairly quiet until just over the Dutch border when we got walloped by a Me110. Taffy Williams spotted the bugger snooping around but despite evasive action we got a bundle and a buggered up set of bomb controls with an equally fuming Bill
Bailey in the nose! Still, he said he didn't know quite how to use it anyway!
We spotted the target thanks to the good weather and clear red TIs, and despite a single engined enemy a/c which caused us a bit of a scratch or two to the paintwork we slipped past the searchlights (we saw a couple of Lancs caught by them and at least one bought it over the target, through the light flak without a scatch and though off target we hope that the camera results will show that we were at least somewhere over Germany! We got clobbered as we sloped off with some bad port wing root damage which our ground crew erks under Sgt Jones will tell us off about when we get back. Taff got a bit of a scare with some superficial damage to the tail plane. Being a fairly quiet trip back we were looking forward to seeing Nelly back at the mess for breakfast when a sudden stream of swear words and shouting started emanating over the communication system from Taff at the back. it would have shocked his mother, I am sure. To our intense surprise and consternation the gang in the glasshouse observed a twin engined enemy a/c diving past to our port lit up like a bloody Christmas tree until it ploughed into the North Sea just off the Dutch coast Whooomph! Looks like the beer is on Taffy down at the White Hart later!
Anyway Nelly, we have made it back and to celebrate we are driving down in Masher
Mallory's Austin to the White Hart for a bevvy or four care of Taff. Bit of a squeeze but would you like to join us? You can sit on my lap! Oh and don't forget to put Taff's twin engined enemy a/c destroyed otherwise we might end up paying in more ways than one!
Flt Lt Bunny
Warren